KNITMAN

May 25, 2010

HAVING A LAUGH

Filed under: Uncategorized — Knitman @ 8:41 pm

Tony and Yvonne  were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.  Though  they were far from rich, they managed to get by because Tony watched  their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to  Yvonne’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for  the last decade.
One day, their good health didn’t help when they went on yet another  holiday and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter  escorted them inside.  He took them to a beautiful mansion,  furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a  waterfall in the master bath.  A maid could be seen hanging  their favourite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment  when he said, ‘Welcome to Heaven.  This will be your home now.’

Tony asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.  ‘Why,  nothing,’ Peter replied, ‘remember, this is your reward in Heaven.’
Tony looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf  course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..
‘What are the greens fees?,’ grumbled Tony..
‘This is heaven,’ St. Peter replied.  ‘You can play for free,  every day.’

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with  every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks  to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
‘Don’t even ask,’ said St. Peter to Tony.  This is Heaven, it is  all free for you to enjoy.’
Tony looked around and glanced nervously at Yvonne.
‘Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the  decaffeinated tea?,’ he asked.
That’s the best part,’ St. Peter replied.  ‘You can eat and  drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get  fat or sick.   
This is Heaven!’
‘No gym to work out at?’ said Tony
‘Not unless you want to,’ was the answer.
‘No testing my sugar or blood pressure or…’
‘Never again.  All you do here is enjoy yourself.’

Tony glared at Yvonne and said, ‘You and your f*cking Bran Flakes.   We could have been here ten years ago!’

 


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