Oh my! This is the first morning for weeks that have woken feeling good. I have been waking bad tempered or tearful for many weeks now. I have been VERY concerned this has been to do with the morphine and I have been convincing myself I have a problem! Mainly because it is hard to wipe old tapes and because there are STILL ingoramuses, both lay and medical, who fear opiate pain relief. By bed time last night I was ‘high’. I couldn’t understand why as my last dose had been many hours previous and I did not take more due to this feeling. I had been on the go all day, arranging for the hosue re-modelling, buying food etc adn then I bathed two dogs one after the other. I was sore and high for that reason!
I took sleepers as I do before every dog show. I awoke feeling very good because I had 8 hours unbroken sleep! I did not go to the show. I was persuaded against my better judgement to agree to going. I don’t think people have much idea just how much it takes for me to do a show. My pride would hate it, but sometimes I do wish my condition was more obvious! I get peeved at the lack of understanding at times BUT I am also aware how one can only truly appreciate this by either having the same or similar disease OR by being close to a person with it.
I think I am going to have to discuss with my Dr my drug regimen. From my own reading, it seems my Gabapentin intake can safely be increased to three times my present amount.
Today is the first day for ages, other than Cruft’s day (and that was after a night of good sleep from sleepers.). I had forgotten I can feel this well.
It bothers me. I know I cannot take sleepers every night. No sleeper is non addictive and all stop working after regular use. Yet my biggest problem is not the 24/7 pain but lack of sleep. This causes more pain and the volatile moods and the fatigue.