Every time I feel down the same thing comes up: I have no hope. Yes, I k now how lucky I am to have a husband who adores me and takes care of me. 35 yrs this coming July. I get to listen to music every day on the best equipment, can watch what I like on a 4k TV. (4k meaning resolution not cost!!). I have my dogs to love and who give me great pleasure.
But I have no hope. Nothing to look forward to. Since my disease forced me to stop showing, I have had nothing to hope for. So what if I can still breed a litter. What for? I will only be upset if I produce a stunner. No one will buy it. I don’t have the next show to look forward to, the next litter, the next possible win. Nothing.
It seems I just must enjoy each day I can watching tv and listening to music and reading until I die. The recession has put paid to my hand dyed yarn hobby.
I don’t say these things because I feel sorry for myself, or because I feel depressed. I feel neither. I truly cannot find hope.